its not easy

Seems like the inevitable has happened...
the sky has fallen...for me, on me....
the words were simple,
yet so painful
'i am not worthy of u, please take care'....
i thought i could swallow it all...
that i could take it like a man...
but then why is it so hard?
when all i see has her in it...
when all i hear has her voice...
when my future has her in it...
what will be the journey from here now...
so aimless, so clueless...
can fate play a more cruel joke...
for you to love someone so wholeheartedly...
for you to wana share your life with her...
and after 8 years of nurturing our love...
it has to wither and die...

... no, i will not die...but a part of me has died...
blown away with the ashes of time...
swept away by the cold hands of fate...

where is my dream girl?

All i want, is a simple life
All i want, is a lovely wife
All i want, is home sweet home
and all i want, is to be with her

A girl to love,
a girl to care,
a girl to pamper,
and a girl to spend my life with.

All i wish is for a girl to love me devotedly,
who wants to share her life with me,
who wants to share her secrets with me,
who wants to spend her time with me,
who loves me for who i am,
who loves me for who i will be,
who loves me for what i did,
who loves me for what i will do.

Someone to watch the movies with,
to listen music with,
to go to the park with,
to go to makan places with,
to go to restaurants with,
to go home with,
to go to bed with,

but the someone in the life, once was, now not and never will be?
is she happy?
am i happy?
are we happy?
why ain't love the way it should be?
why ain't love the way i thought it is?

can we be happy together?
it has been a rough patch in recent months,
I still love her, but am i in love?
i still want to share my life with her, but will we be happy?
Am i just bad company that she prefer being with friends?
Am i just so boring that she prefers her laptop?
Am i just the wrong one for her?
I am...good company to others
i am....not so boring with my friends
i am...quite the good boyfriend / husband type according to others
so wat's wrong i ask...
wat's the matter man...i am lost...lost in the desert, with no compass and no idea how to see the stars....i think i need, an information counter... well, shld be at level 1