thou shall wait

In the mist of the crowd i sit,
dubious to all that speaks,
gentle words,
hearty laughter,
thou shall wait till the heart is drained,
deprived of love,
denied to love,
till the sun rises,
with the morning mist,
thou shall wish,
thou shall wait

More Thoughts from a bus ride

Walking thru the blinding darkness,
i quicken my pace at the far sight of light,
rushing boundlessly towards that faint sparkle of hope,
and as i dashed towards that welcoming opening from this cave that i had been trapped in,
i was sent flying backwards as i crashed onto that spotlessly clear glass door that separate the darkness from the light.

Like a bad joke,
i had been locked out from the mesmerizing sights of green pastures, lively villages and happy voices,
and like a pole fixed on the solid ground,
i stood there motionlessly,
waiting for an angel with a key,
a beautiful village girl with a happy voice.

I pressed the bell on the limestone walls but no one answers.
I cried and screamed out loud but there were only echoes...
and a chilling silence that follows.

an irony of love

in the many phrases and instances that we pass through in life,
life seems to have less of the sweet promises,
cornering me only to retreat and fall back into the world of dreams.
If dreams are truly the opposite of reality,
i would throw myself boundlessly into the front,
and plunge heads-on towards the world of dreams,
for its there where everything is like what it should be,
or what i hope to be.

As the countless many are laughing,
they had not realised that life itself could be a joke,
that even though life could bring the sweetest memories like jam on one side of a sandwich bread,
you could end up on the other side, white, plain, empty and bare.

Why is it so tough,
when all one wants is to love and to be loved,
and yet time and time again,
as if trapped in a giant loaf,
all he sees is an endless stream of white, plain, empty and bare sandwich bread.
Like a mixed bag of emotions, i long to see her, for it sets my heart fluttering
and yet, i long not to see her, for every goodbye sends a piercing ache, an unbearable feeling that never fails to hurt more than the previous one.

Is it really so simple to love someone?
Is it really so tough to love someone?
As these constant thoughts flood the corners of my head, i find myself wanting to do nothing more, but to lay down on this cold lonely bed, accompanied only by the sound of silence, the absence of love and the power of dreams.

bonne nuit. je t'aime ma cherie, in life and in dreams.

Thoughts from a bus ride

On the bus ride home, these thoughts keep flooding into my head and thus, i had penned them down...

looking out at the blurry glass windows,
as the tiny raindrops fall onto the tarmac road like bees to honey,
a familiar sense of loneliness envelopes his heart,
as he finds himself in that usual void of emptiness,
and laughs sorrowly at his pathetic self,
a man as useless as a plumber facing a stove,
with no absolute idea how to move ahead,
or stay behind,
like a crippled tiger faced with two hunters on either side.

Closing his weary eyes,
a faint smile forms along his pale lifeless lips,
leaving it all to fate,
fate - the sign of betrayal,
and yet ironically,
as a friend or a foe,
he finds only fate standing before him,
to the heavens or hell,
he shall not choose nor seek out for,
but to just leave his hands to it,
and resign to its fateful plans.

opposite attracts

Like a helpless child being sucked into the epicentre of a hurrying typhoon,
i find myself falling hopelessly in love with a girl.
stirring juvenile-like feelings of a first love,
she sends my heart fluttering,
and the head spinning wildly,
filling it with endless thoughts of her,
like a old film projector going on and on.

Do opposite attracts?
if i was like a snow flake in the arctic sea,
she was like a splendid breeze on a summer's day.
if i was like a sleepy old town,
she was like a buzzy village square.

Like two sides of a coin,
she is blubby, vocal, sweet, caring, strong, lovely and lovely.
and yet, always showing only one side of the coin,
she rarely shows the sentimental, emotional and saddened side of the coin.

During my short trip to ipoh on the weekend,
i find myself helplessly thinking of her,
longing for her by my side,
as the loneliness grips the suffocating heart,
and eats into the already thin feeble soul of mine,
sending uncontrollable tears of despair through those weary eyes
wishing if only lady luck changes her mind,
and place her gently into my hopeful arms.

and yet,
as predictable as the seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter,
what i hope to be was not to be.
for her heart had, is and will still be with that lucky someone else.
and like a falling snowflake sinking into the icy snowbed,
i can only look up to see her sun and his moon in unison,
as she lays in his embrace,
him showering her with the sunlighting rays of his love.